Gasping

The blinding light of heaven Has cast its rays upon you Once it’s taken hold And you’re in its grip, it’s in control You have your demons... demons To conquer and I have mine The word of the father I follow it well I’ll keep digging the graves And send them to hell You were the path I always followed And I was taught to obey We’re only doing the Lord’s work From his word we mustn’t stray When God tells you to kill All you can do is listen They’ll meet their fate with the blade of my axe No, you can’t escape God’s wrath Father told me to pray Told me to pray for a vision Locked me down in a dark hole Driven beyond fear into insanity Then God spoke to me Told me to fulfill my destiny Lay my hands on their skin If the names on my list Show me their sins For I am God’s wrath You were the path I always followed Their sins will be revealed And I will not be abandoned The Lord will be my shield

In a desperate state I rot Been lost to my thoughts What will it take to awaken me? Nails bitten down to the quick Nerves have gotten the best of it I can feel the hammer coming down Like a scar that I can't hide It runs in my head on repeat Played it out in a thousand ways Yet it always ends up the same When you thirst for I had nothing to offer When you starve for My hands were empty Our future ripe with failure Built upon this broken foundation All empty promises spoken If I was able to I would erase them A black void grows in my chest Where my heart used to be Slice me open a loving gesture Spill my blood in your mouth just to nurture Ahhhh I lie in the wake of my mistakes In sorrow and regret I'm wallowing To undo all the years of your grieving I'd offer myself, I'd give anything

Handed down upon me A promise and a lie There is a choice I have to make I'm torn inside. I'm torn inside Into a dark place, where I can hide Alone with my guilt. I ask myself this question I dread How long will it last? Minute by minute Breath by breath Counting every second Is it over? When will it be over? Like a fallen angel Unto a spiteful God Living in fear is punishment Wanting to end at all Oh... Clench the truth between my teeth Until my gums bleed I must let it out Dig into my skin, my skin, until I find the cancer I have no choice but to cut it all out Look into myself, myself and I can see that I cancer I have no choice but to change Can I finally forgive myself For all this hurt I've made Can I ever forget the past Before I'm resting in my grave

Walking around on pins and needles, I'm Biding my time On broken shards of glass I stand I'm holding my tongue I break... I break these chains to free myself Again... this noose that holds me tight Yes, you knew my every want And you held my every need Yet you kept them away And i you saw through it All All alone, I'm all alone All alone, I'm all alone Pathetic desire to please you Something I knew I could never do And I never did Cut out my heart and feed upon it Til bleed me dry... I curse your name My God, I damn you The rotten taste of neglect A kind word never said The rotten taste of neglect A kind word never said